audrey horne is my role model.
What unites creepshots, the Middleton photographs, the revenge porn websites, is that they all feature the same fetishisation of non-consensual sexual activity with women who either you don’t have any access to, or have been denied future access to. And it’s really this product of rage and entitlement.
Great article about rape culture. Women are basically treated like public property when we’re not locked away inside our homes with the blinds down. We should be able to conduct our daily business, wearing whatever the fuck we want, without being forced to star in someone else’s porn.
But why? Why are we so afraid of our size? Why are we afraid to shake our plus sized asses in a shiny skirt? Why are we afraid to wear the red dress because someone once said that it should be a federal crime if girls over size 6 wear red? I know personally I see fat girls strutting down the street in gorgeous bright colors and prints and think “fuck, why can’t I be that girl?”
I think that maybe it’s just that some fat girls have better bodies than me. More proportionally fat. Their fat is in a better place. It’s got to be something like that. Because they look great in things I would never dare to wear.
But then I realized, I was focusing on the wrong thing. I was focusing on what they were wearing instead of how they were wearing it. What I need is confidence. It sounds silly. It sounds impossible. It sounds just utterly cliché. How am I supposed to reconcile my body shame with the idea that I don’t need to be ashamed of my body when I can only think of one mainstream store that sells clothing in my size?
The truth of the matter is that it’s been a long hard battle for me to get to a place of some confidence. I don’t feel like those other hot fat girls who can swing their hips with pride yet, but I’m working on it. I’m working on ending negative self talk and on not feeling ashamed when I actually feel good about myself and my body. I’m working on being okay with saying “I feel hot today” and not having to justify it with “for a fat girl” or “even though I’ll never look like [hot actress x]” or “even though I don’t have a significant other,” etc. I don’t yet feel like those other girls, but I know I will, someday soon.
You’re turning me into you.
This moment absolutely broke my heart for so many reasons. The Doctor wants nothing more than to do the right thing; in previous incarnations, he was criticized for letting his emotions be the cause of his downfall, but in this moment, he was genuinely trying to look at the grand scheme to do what was right. The Doctor shoulders so much guilt and responsibility for the Universe; if you can’t see the guilt behind nearly every single one of his actions, you are not looking closely enough. The Doctor is the most feared being in all of the cosmos, but no one fears him more than himself. Here Rory is, so torn and destroyed by a travesty caused simply because someone pressed an incorrect button - and he says the line that absolutely tore my heart in half as an Eleven stan. Everyone expects The Doctor to save the day and do the right thing, but no one - not even Rory Williams - can bare the idea of doing what he has to do. In fact, especially not Rory Williams, who has the biggest heart of literally any other television character I’ve ever seen. It’s a Catch 22 every single day. Every minute. Every time period. This is what the Doctor does… and I think this was the first time Rory really, truly realized it.
The nurse is finally learning what it takes to be a Doctor.
13 Days of River Song | 01. Why River Song?
Because River Song is perfect. Not flawless, but perfect.
She’s the brilliant combination of everything I admire in a woman (fictional or otherwise), and of everything I think I might want to be someday. She’s tough, smart, and compassionate. She makes mistakes, but owns up to them and then picks herself up. Her fears don’t paralyze her, even though she is afraid at times. I think, as a woman living in a time when gender relations are a shamble and where I am constantly put on the spot, asked to choose between career and love, that she manages to transcend the bullshit. She loves beyond measure (even beyond reason, at times), yet retains her intellectual independence, and her agency.
My little fannish heart loves the fact that she is, essentially, a female version of Han Solo and Indiana Jones. I grew up with “the boys”, wanted to be like them, do the things they do, and River Song as proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that yes, girls can do all the things boys can.
Alex Kingston has also a lot to do with it! She’s kick-ass yet gracious and feminine, flirtatious and badass, witty and loving. I don’t think anyone else could do the role justice.